Why You're Not Getting What You Want

Published November 18th, 2022 by Phoenixadmin

Don’t make a move. Don’t take one more step towards going after what you want. Not even one tiny step. Ok, it’s not that dramatic, but it is serious! Today, I’m going to share 4 things that you absolutely must master BEFORE you even start going after what you want.

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again – and this is a huge foundation that I use in coaching – it’s not what you’re doing wrong, it’s what you’re thinking wrong. The last thing you want to do is go after what you want and run into problems and find yourself stuck due to an overlooked issue that you could have prevented if only you had taken time to check in with yourself prior to beginning. Save yourself time – and energy – don’t end up like so many people out there working and pushing so damn hard and wondering why things aren’ working out for them. Use these 4 simple questions to set yourself up for for success so you can get what you want FASTER. That sounds nice, right?

You have to believe it exists.

Do you believe it actually exists?

Now, automatically, you’re going to shrug me off and say, “Yes, of course I believe it exists.” And consciously, you might. On a surface level, your ego might convince you that it exists. But it is your subconscious that likely needs a little convincing. Your subconscious is the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware, but which influences one's actions and feelings. It’s the subconscious that holds onto self-limiting beliefs, or old beliefs that you learned growing up while you were impressionable – and these beliefs can be reflected in bad habits, poor self-esteem, negative thought patterns, lack of self-love. And it’s in the subconscious that you have to be SO CAREFUL about, because it’s the subconscious that attracts similar energy – right, the law of attraction? Like attracts like – the energy of your subconscious attracts similar energy, so if your subconscious is filled with self-doubt, fear, or disbelief in what you truly want – you are not setting yourself up for success to achieve your desire.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – C.G. Jung, one of my favorite quotes. Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

You have to know you deserve it

Do you think you deserve it?

This is a huge recurring block that I see in coaching all the time. Nobody thinks they deserve things. It’s selfish, it’s egotistical. I don’t want to say I deserve something, that sounds entitled.

Entitled gets a bad rep. It’s a slippery slope because we don’t want to walk around entitled, feeling as though we inherently are deserving of privileges and are better than everyone else. There is a difference between entitlement and deserving something.

Deserving, by definition, is “worthy of being treated in a particular way.”

It’s not an entitlement issue. It’s a worthiness issue. People hide behind entitlement, so they don’t have to address the fact that they constantly feel unworthy. That they’re not good enough. That they’re not smart enough. That they’re not pretty enough. That they’re not enough.

You have to expect it

Are you expecting to get it?

We don’t like expecting things to happen because we don’t want to get our hopes up. We don’t want to be let down. That is ego and we need to get over the fear of potential – I mean, it hasn’t even happened yet. Seriously – go check out episode 6 if you want to hear more about the power behind expectation but I’ll leave you with this:

If your subconscious does not know what is real and what is not real, and if we can get past our fear of potential disappointment, what do you think could happen if you chose to expect good things to happen?

What’s the harm in expecting good things to happen? 

You have to make it a decision

Have you decided that you will get it?

It’s a decision. It’s already been determined in your mind; it is not up for debate. Have you decided that you are going to get what you want.

Deciding that you’re going to get something eliminates all your excuses that you might come up with when shit starts getting hard and it will eliminate any external responsibility that you have placed on anyone else – your future is not in anyone else’s hands – it’s in your hands.

Want to master these questions – dig deeper through my podcast on this topic! 

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