I'll Be Happy When...

Published January 4th, 2023 by Phoenixadmin

Happy New Year! 

With the start of 2023, I am sure you have come up with one idea for a new year’s resolution. I am all for a resolution and achieving a goal you have set but I want you to remember one thing as you go into this new year… Until you are happy where you are right now and have peace with it, you won’t find that peace within you or your resolution. You will carry unhappiness with you throughout your journey.

I’ll be happy when I lose 10 lbs.
I’ll be happy when I get my promotion.
I’ll be happy when I’m finally married.
I’ll be happy once I have kids.
I’ll be happy when my kid gets into this school.

Let’s stay real here – who hasn’t said something along these lines to themselves before?

It's called "I'll be happy when" syndrome – or Conditional Happiness. It’s the belief that you only can attain happiness “when” you do something specific, obtain something of a particular value, or experience a certain life event. If you can’t be happy without it, your happiness becomes conditional on obtaining that one certain thing…therefore you cannot be unconditionally happy.

That doesn’t sound fun to me, at all. Don’t sign me up for conditional happiness! 

Admittedly, I’ve certainly been the author of writing conditional happiness into my own story. 

I’ll be happy when we get married.
I’ll be happy once I get divorced.
I’ll be happy once I can quit being a dental hygienist.
I’ll be happy once I’m a SoulCycle instructor.

Now, I’m not saying that it ended there – I still find myself overcoming moments of wanting more, but thankfully, I got a hold on my consciousness and learned to be happy in the moment, and I want to share a few ideas to help you be happy too.

Happiness is what we all really want, right? YES, of course you do! The interesting part is that we have some many external factors to blame our unhappiness on – our circumstances, our family, the pandemic, the way we were raised, our opportunities, our genetics…the list goes on and on. Friendly reminder: what you look for – you will find. So, if you are looking for a reason to be unhappy, NEWSFLASH! You will find it. This is why it is so important to learn where true happiness actually comes from – inside. It’s YOU.

You control your own happiness! You allow your own happiness! 


What’s your “I’ll be happy when” statement?

What are you waiting to happen…to click…magically turn on your happiness? I’m not saying that hey, these things can’t add to your happiness…but why do you think you can’t be happy now…and later? Does it have to be a waiting game where you have to pick “this” or “that?” Why can’t you have both?

Conditional happiness prevents us from feeling fulfilled and living our NOW life to the fullest. What about unconditional happiness? Where you’re happy no matter what external events are happening in your life, no matter how much further you need to go to reach your goal, happy regardless of the current situation.

Why WOULDN’T I want to be unconditionally happy? 

If you’re looking for a reason to feel guilty about your life, you’ll find it. But don’t blame happiness.

If you’re looking for a way to self-sabotage your success, you’ll find it. But don’t blame happiness. Happiness is not a detriment to your success. To your goals. To your life. 

You’re allowed to be happy. Say it out loud: I am allowed to be happy!

Being happy does not mean that things are perfect.
Being happy does not mean that you don’t care about other people who aren’t as happy as you are.
Being happy does not mean that you are settling and don’t want more out of life.

It just means that you’re happy. 

Most people are constantly telling themselves stories of how they’ll be at peace at some point in the future once a certain event happens, or when they reach some goal they’ve set for themselves, or if they become this or that. 

In order to be happy we have to make peace with the present moment

Are you ready for the 3 best ways to be happy RIGHT NOW? Here they are:

Enjoy the present….and enjoy YOURSELF in the present

VALUE the present…and add value to it

Release the future

Are you just waiting for life to happen? Guess what, it just happens no matter what you are waiting on. 

Go deeper into finding your happiness with me on my podcast linked below! 

Apple Podcast  Spotify  Google Podcast




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