How To Stop Giving AF What People Think
This just in: you cannot make everybody happy – you are not a taco!
Obsessing over what other people think? Letting that dictate your life? Even I am guilty of that! I’ve lost sleep. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost self-respect. Essentially, I lost my power. Allowing what others think of you dominates your power and you give your power to others – and it doesn’t feel great.
Once you stop living for other people – guess who you can finally live for? Yourself!
Why the hell do we care so much about what other people think? Well, it’s basically our human nature. Literally, we crave being accepted by others.
It’s not a bad thing to want to be accepted. To be happy. To be close to people. But we can’t be attached to it. That’s how you start to lose your sense of self – when you put more emphasis on what other people think about you over what YOU think of you!
So how do you overcome it? How do you learn to just not give AF about what other people think of you?
- Get to know yourself – very well!
- Give yourself permission to disconnect from people
- Stop mind reading – or should I say stop trying to mind read!
- Accept that you cannot please everyone
- Don’t automatically assign truth to what anyone says
- Focus on what you can change – not what you can’t change.
At the end of the day, you have to redirect your focus back to YOU, and not on other people. When you’re getting to know yourself and assigning your own truth to your own self, focus on all the things that ARE working for you. Use it to fight the negative thoughts that fire up when someone doesn’t like you.
Focus on what IS working – write it down! Seriously, my own life coach told me to do this when I was struggling a while back, create a go-to list of things that you are absolutely crushing and go back to it to review daily.
What are you really proud of? What can you celebrate? What positive affirmations can you write down about yourself? You must keep these things at the top of your mind – and you have to believe them! How the hell could you expect anyone else to believe that you are an amazing person if YOU don’t believe it?
It always starts with you. You must believe in yourself and in good things about yourself. You must understand yourself. That’s how you can show up as a confident person who doesn’t believe what others say.
Say it out loud one last time: It’s ok when someone doesn’t like me. Or approves of my every action. Or agrees with everything that I think. Or thinks whatever about me.
Your life is for you. So you can show up as your best self for you AND for others.
Does this resonate with you? Want a deeper dive into these 6 concepts? Check out the podcast where I really go in-depth.