Develop Your Personal Power in 3 Steps
Are you ready for it? Cue Taylor Swift – are you ready for it? Are you ready to create your fate? To truly begin to create the life that you want. Are you ready? It’s time for you to create your fate – where you go in life – right now. And what’s the first step? If you want to create your fate you have to first:
Take responsibility for it. Take responsibility for your fate. For your life. For your outcomes.
If you want to create your fate – to design your life and live it the way you want to live your best life ever – you have to take responsibility for it. You have to learn how to stop blaming other people or situations for your problems. And then continue to practice that. You have to stop waiting for someone to come in and save you or change your life – and you have to take inspired action to attract the life you want. We’re not going to force your best life ever or try to control things or other people in order to get what we want, but we are going to take responsibility for how our lives unfold.
Eek. Take responsibility? That sounds like work. And a lot of it.
People get a little tripped up around the word “responsibility” and honestly – I don’t even blame them. I used to be one of those people!
Guess what we’re going to do here – we are going to reframe our thoughts around responsibility. Your life is YOUR responsibility – no one else’s. And we’re not going to blame anyone else for our problems because guess what? Responsibility has nothing to do with blame – responsibility is accepting the fact that you have the ability to change your life at any moment. Will you…take responsibility for that?
Have you ever heard the quote “With great power comes great responsibility.”?
Think about it – you’re a manager at work responsible for a team. You hold the power to direct your team members on how to perform their tasks. You’re the babysitter, responsible for 3 kids? You have the power to tell them when to go to bed.
So what are we going to do here – we’re going to flip the script: With great responsibility comes great power!
Ooh, now responsibility sounds nice, right? What about responsibility for yourself?
We go about life, doing different things and making certain decisions, and reacting to specific situations and don’t even know we’re doing them. Unless you become aware that you are doing these things, you’ll continue to do them – that’s the problem with unconscious behaviors. By identifying these 3 small things that you likely do, you can bring awareness to them – and then take the responsibility of your own life back – and therefore, your power back to truly create your fate.
If you want to create your fate, you must take responsibility for your reality.
You create your own reality. You want to create your fate – your future life – well you have to take responsibility for creating your present life too, your reality.
Here’s the psychological version – you have outside information getting thrown your way at 2M bytes per second. You process all of this information through your senses – consciously and unconsciously – but really, you’re only able to compute about 132 b/sec – which essentially is less than 1% of all information out there coming to you. You CHOOSE what information you allow into your mind by deleting most, and the rest of the information is processed individually to you based on your memories, values, and beliefs.
All of this to say – you pick less than 1% of the information you absorb, and then you use your past experiences to determine what you do with it.
You pick the information you let in and how you process it: you literally create your own reality. This is amazing news! But with great power comes great responsibility. What you choose to do with this information – key word choose – is your responsibility and will directly impact the course of your life. Your fate.
If you want to create your fate, you must take responsibility for blaming other people for your problems.
Disclaimer: this one is really hard. To no longer blame anything external, and to fully take responsibility internally and begin to make a change. Take responsibility for your life.
People see this in one of two ways. Weak-minded people don’t like this – they think that taking responsibility for their life means that they have to accept all of the blame for everything that’s gone wrong in their lives up to this point. Strong and open-minded people view responsibility entirely differently. If you are strong-minded, you see responsibility as accepting the fact that you have the ability to change your life at any moment. That’s “responsibility.”
Be honest with yourself, which one are you? Next question: which one do you WANT to be? Let’s focus on that.
I love Brene Brown and one of my favorite quotes of hers is how she describes blame. “Blame is simply the fastest way to discharge discomfort and pain.” That’s all it is.
Realizing that no one has a personal vendetta for you and is trying to uniquely make your life harder will immediately raise your vibration and uplift your mood. You’ll naturally give people more grace in life – which is extremely freeing – FOR YOU. FOR YOU. And that’s who we’re focusing on here – not anyone else.
Focus on yourself. It is SO easy to point out everything wrong in everyone else…which leads me to my final point here.
If you want to create your fate, you must take responsibility for the reflection of yourself in others.
Did you know that what we see in others is just a reflection of what we see in ourselves? One of my clients recently phrased it like this:
If you spot it, you got it!
Think about it – what is a characteristic that you notice often in other people? Likely, whatever that is, is a characteristic that you have as well. What actions do you notice in other people that bother you? Is it possible that you do this as well, or that you notice it because it stems from something that happened in your past that isn’t quite healed yet?
Everyone you meet is your mirror. Do you believe that? Yes or no?
Trust me, this is a very challenging lesson to learn. It’s so easy to blame other people for our problems and unhappiness. But – we create our realities and we create our fate. It is up to us to take action for ourselves. No more blaming others.
Brene Brown says: “Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relationship with accountability. Blaming is the fastest way that we discharge anger.”
If all we do is disperse our anger onto others, how could we ever take the time to sit with it and find out where it comes from?
While we learn more about ourselves through our relationships with others, we can only be triggered by something that we’ve previously experienced ourselves in the past – take the example of the dog from earlier.
The things we tend to dislike or judge or criticize in others are usually the traits we do not like about ourselves. We pick up on qualities in others or are especially annoyed or bothered by qualities in others that really are qualities about ourselves. Go back to blame – pointing the finger of blame at someone – one finger is pointing at another person, and three are pointing back to ourselves.
What comes to mind when you hear this? Whatever was your initial and instinctive reaction, that’s probably right. Start there.
What triggers you about other people? What makes you really mad? Or sad? What are some negative feelings that you are refusing to let go of? Or worse – what are some negative feelings you have begun to expect? We know the power of expectation! It works both ways and you must be very careful with it.
How are you going to do it? You are going to CHOOSE to see it differently!
Take the time to focus inward, not outward. It’s tough to do! It’s so easy to blame other people and not take action and play the victim role in your own life. But I am going to ask you this – where is that going to get you? And do you want to end up there? If it’s not, change it. You have the power to change your life, but it starts with you. Sitting with you. Analyzing you. Healing you. Changing you.
That’s true responsibility. That’s how you create your reality. That’s how you create your future, and that’s how you create your fate.
If this article spoke to you, head over to y podcast to dig deeper into this topic and you can even reach out to me, just head over to my website, schedule a consult, and see how the 90-day mindset makeover can help you create the life that you want to live.